Sunsets that Stay Gold
by Zara Uchiha
Summary: About a year after Johnny's death, I had one of those dreams. The kind I can usually never remember. This time it was different, because I could remember...I was alone, all alone.


About a year after Johnny's death, I had one of those dreams. The kind I can usually never remember. This time it was different, because I could. I could remember.

It began with Johnny. He stood in front of me and said, "Stay gold, Ponyboy, stay gold."

This made me want to bawl like a baby. I remember when he said this to me in the hospital, right before he died . Only this time he wasn't strapped to a table, he wasn't scarred or in pain. Johnny was smiling, like he used to when we played football or went to movies. It was so nice.

"Johnny!' I called out. My voice wavered, and I smiled. Johnny's face twisted, like he was in pain. His eyes grew wide. Flames erupted from his clothes. They licked his body, and his tan skin became red. He screamed. He screamed just like he had in Windrxville. I tried running toward him. If I could get to him, he wouldn't burn, not this time. A strong grip, wouldn't let me go. The fire grew and grew, until I could no longer see Johnny. I could still hear him, and he was still screaming.

Then I found myself in a jungle. I could hear sirens and gunfire. It was horrible. The sounds became louder, and louder. A soldier in green camo ran out from behind the trees.

"Pony! Darry!" He yelled out desperately. His voice was ragged. Oh, God. He had Soda's face. It was Soda. Another gunshot was heard. This one was louder than all the others. With it Soda fell forward. He was dead. No, he couldn't. Soda wasn't dead. Soda wasn't dead. Soda wasn't dead.

Now I was in my living room. Darry stood in the middle of the room, with a letter in his hand. He was crying. Darry never cried. Then he slammed the letter on the floor. Knocking everything out of his way he ran out the door leaving me behind.

Two-Bit and Steve were suddenly there. They looked serious, with their eyes narrowed. Two-Bit's eyes were full of water. He was going to cry. He hadn't cried in a long, long time. Steve looked different, like Tim Shepard, or even Dally before he died. Not him, too. Neither looked back as they walked out too. I was alone, all alone.

I shut my eyes, and covered them with my hands. No more, I thought, please no more.

"You'd better wise up Pony. You get tough like me and nothin' can touch you." It was Dally. No, dally was dead. Dead, dead, dead. I looked up, and opened my eyes. I was in Buck's car, and Dally was driving. It was just like that night after the rumble. His hands clutched the wheel. To most he'd look like a hood on the run from the cops, but I knew him better. He was worried.

"You hear me Pony?" He looked over at me. No, that wasn't Dally. It couldn't be. It was Tim Shepard, I was sure of it. Tim Shepard who was happy being unhappy, who didn't love or care. Dally was loved, he had the gang, or at least he had.

Now the face looking at me wasn't even a human. It was a monster.

"Get tough, Ponyboy!" the monster growled.

I don't know how to explain it, but there was something like an explosion. Everything came at me at once. The feeling of dread and panic filled me. I had to get out. I didn't know where I was, but I had to get out.

I woke-up in cold sweat. In and out, in and out, in and out, I repeated to myself trying to breathe normally. I'm okay, I thought. I'm okay. It was just a dream, just a dream.

"Mmmmmm" Soda sighed next to me. His eyes flickered open, and he grinned sleepily when he saw me. "Hey honey, what's the matter? You ain't getting' up yet, are ya?"

When I didn't answer, Soda slung his arm around me. He must have felt my trembling. His eyebrows knitted together. That sleepy grin on his disappeared, and was replaced with a concerned look. I hated those looks. Soda gave me too many of those, these days. "Honey, you're shaking. You had another dream again, didn't you?"

I nodded. You don't lie to Soda. There's just something about him. He can understand anyone. He pulled me in and held me tight.

"It's okay. Nothin's gonna hurt you," Soda said it softly, like a whisper. He hummed and stroked my hair. I couldn't fall asleep though. My mind wouldn't let go off that crisp whit letter on the coffee-table, the one addressed to 'Mr. Sodapop Curtis' and that soldier in my dream too.

"Soda," I asked, "the letter-"

"Pony," Soda said, stopping me from going further, "that don't mean nothin'. It only says I could go. They got enough idiots fightin' those Commi's"

"But-"

"Hey, I ain't gonna be sent. They don't need high school drop-outs like me. I'm a co-guardian too. I help Darry pay bills, right? They ain't gonna send co-guardians to war."

Soda sounded so sure. When Soda said something, I wanted to believe it. For awhile we just laid there.

"Was that what was buggin' you?" Soda asked, slowly. I nodded. Then he continued, "It scared me too, but you shouldn't worry 'bout stuff like that. Try thinkin' about good things. And I can't be sent, I just can't…"

At the time, I didn't hear the waver in his voice, or how he was trying to convince himself, too. I only heard him say to think about good things. Soon Soda fell asleep. I laid there thinking about what Soda said.

I thought about Johnny, and how he smiled last Christmas when we couldn't untangle the lights. I thought about Dally. How reckless and carefree he looked when roaring down the road in Buck's car with a Kool hanging out of his mouth.

Darry, too, was in my mind. We weren't fighting anymore. He might get a better job, too, that would earn him twice what he was being paid. And that girl. The pretty one Darry had started going out with. The one who cooked, and smiled, and talked about books. The one who would calm Darry down, and clucked at Soda and me like Mom used to. I liked her, I liked her a lot.

Then Two-Bit was repeating senior this year. He thought he'd move up a little in life and share his humor with all the senior teachers. Then Steve was graduating this year. He talked about starting his own garage-shop with Soda.

Cherry, I thought, what about her? What about the way she held my hand, or how her smile would show in those green eyes of her when we talked? Outside of school of course. If she was seen with me, people would think dirty thoughts about her. They might think she was like Sandy. Cherry was too nice to be like Sandy. Mainly, I thought about sunsets. I saw gold turn to pink, then to blue, then to black. Those were other's sunsets though. For me, the colors didn't fade. Happy things didn't end, they just changed. They stayed gold.

* * *

Hey! I had to write this for school, it's supposed to be chapter 13 of the book. I hope you like it! To all you fans of 'the Lady and the Gentlemen' forgive me! the computer wasn't working right, and i didn't get the chapter typed. It will take a little longer for it to come out, but please be patient with me! I will update it as soon as I can!

~Zara Uchiha


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